Ordinary 22

The Twenty-second Sunday in Ordinary Time

Jeremiah 20:7-9; Psalm 63; Romans 12:1-2; Matthew 16:21-27

Charles Blow, age 20, drives down a Louisiana back-road with a gun in the passenger seat. Destiny sings to him, calling him back to his childhood home. He begins reliving memories grounded in the sexual abuse he experienced by his uncle Chester. Thus begins the new opera Fire Shut Up in My Bones by black composer Terence Blanchard based on the memoirs of NYTimes columnist, Charles Blow. Desperate for affection, ashamed to say anything, Charles recoils from his memories filled with confusion and rage.

Rage and confusion are the experiences of the prophet Jeremiah who feels he has been seduced, crushed and betrayed by God.  This God who called Jeremiah to preach a word of violence and destruction repays the prophet’s fidelity with the people’s mockery, censure and laughter; even his friends watch for any misstep of his. Yet Jeremiah’s anger at God is outweighed by the loathing he feels for himself. Despite committing himself not speak God’s word ever again, the prophet finds that the Word of the Lord overwhelms him burning like fire shut up in his bones. Like Charles Blow, he grows weary of holding it in. The Word overpowers him; Jeremiah must speak in the name of God.

Have you ever experienced such a burning, passionate sensation within you? A forgotten, buried[?] yet ever-present painful memory, a family secret, a hard, challenging word that needs to be spoken to someone, the Word of God itself that we want to deny relates to us? We want to both flee from it while at the same time are drawn to embrace the painful truth.

This is the power of the Word of God when we receive it and bear it in our hearts. It burns; it is painful as long as we keep it in.

Do you remember the two disciples walking home to Emmaus the afternoon of the Resurrection? Like Jeremiah and Charles, they too carry feelings of betrayal, “we were hoping that he would be the one to redeem Israel”. Dejected, the disciples are arguing between themselves as to the meaning of all they have seen and heard.

Do you remember their reaction when they realize it is Jesus who spoke to them and broke the bread? “Were not our hearts burning within us – fire shut up in our bones – while he spoke to us on the way and opened the scriptures to us?” And when they realized this burning within them? “They set out at once and returned to Jerusalem….”

We cannot keep this fire shut up within us. Whether the truth about ourselves or the truth of the Word of God, it must erupt from us. Even Jesus is impelled to confess the truth that he will be killed and raised on the third day. The rejection of the truth is swift. “God forbid, Lord! No such thing shall ever happen to you.”

God is always enticing us; seeking to seduce and overwhelm us and there is no defense against this God of ours. “You are thinking…as human beings do.” How many years did Mother Teresa serve in the most challenging of situations with no sense of God’s presence, yet the fire burned within her, and she could do no other? The fire is shut up in his bones and Jesus can do no other but go to Jerusalem and suffer. Jeremiah can do no other but must cry out violence and outrage, fire shut up in his bones.

Charles decides to return home to confront Chester, gun in hand. He sits in his car on the dark road, contemplating the choice lying before him. Charles must decide whether to exact his revenge or begin life anew. The opera ends. And we are left to contemplate what Charles will do with the fire shut up in his bones.

What will you and I do with the fire shut up in our bones?