Christmas II – The Holy Family

Christmas II – The Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph

_{Sirach 3:2-6, 12-14; Psalm 128; Colossians 3:12-21; Luke 2:22-40}

The New York Times columnist, David Brooks, wonderfully relates how when reading a book at his dining room table he looked up and saw his wife framed in the front door of their house. The door was open and the late afternoon light was streaming in around her. Her mind was elsewhere, but her gaze was resting on a white orchid that was on a table by the door.

This description reminds me of the paintings by the Baroque artist, Johannes Vermeer. Dutch interiors bathed in light of…of a woman reading a letter, a woman posing for a portrait artist, a milkmaid, a woman holding a balance. A private moment caught in both the light of the day and in the mind’s light of the observer.

Brooks relates that he paused, and looked at his wife with a special attention, and had a strange and wonderful awareness ripple through him. “I know her, I really know her, through and through”.

What does it mean to know someone?

To know someone is not to know facts about them, or their life story, or anything expressible in words. To know someone is to know their being – the incandescence of a smile, the undercurrent of their insecurities, the rare flashes of fierceness, the vibrancy of their spirit. To know someone is to see the wholeness of that person.

The only word in the English language that may capture this experience is one, which we no longer use, in common parlance: “behold”. To “behold” another person.  There is nothing extraordinary about Brook’s wife at a door with the light blazing in behind her but he saw the richness, the fully symphony, of his wife. Warm, intimate and profound it is to behold another person.

Many people painted by Rembrandt, another Dutch Baroque artist, were not remarkable. Sometimes the subject is just an old man or an elderly woman we wouldn’t look at twice if we passed them on the street. From our perspective, Rembrandt was not kind to his subjects. Nothing is “air brushed” out. Warts and wounds are included. Yet when you view a Rembrandt portrait, you see the person’s dignity, the immeasurable complexity of their inner lives; unremarkable people are seen remarkably.

Might another word for this experience be to look at another person with “tenderness”?

Scripture continually invites us to deeply gaze, to “behold with tenderness,” a person, a situation in its full richness. No explanations, no dissecting, no studying, no collecting of data; just a gaze that we take into our being.

Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son. _{[Isaiah 7:14]}

Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy. _{[Luke 2:10]}

Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world! _{[John 1:29]}

“Woman, behold, your son!”  Then Jesus said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!”_{[John 19:26-27]}

Behold, the veil of the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom._{[Matthew 27:51]}

Behold, I make all things new._{[Revelation 21:5]}

Simeon takes a supple newborn infant into his aged arms and gazes. Anna comes upon the scene and takes this embrace in. Shepherds and magi look on with tenderness. Such deep looking overflows into praise and thanks. Brooks is deeply grateful for his wife. Simeon’s life is completed with peace and thanksgiving for promises fulfilled. Anna, shepherds, and magi praise God.

When Saint Francis came up with the idea of creating a manger scene, is it not this “beholding” he desired us to experience? Is not the whole purpose of our manger scenes simply to look, to gaze, to take into our souls, salvation in human form? And if our manger scenes invite us to behold Jesus as Messiah, as God in the full dignity of divinity and humanity; how much more does Advent – Christmas invite us to “behold” one another with the richness of our unique dignity.

How often do we only see a piece of a person? Some physicians only see a patient’s body. Some employers only see a worker’s productivity. We see only skin colour, economic status, gender and sexual orientation, the inability to speak English, the cleanliness of a person or lack thereof… We stereotype and categorize. People become invisible.

How have you felt when you were stereotyped, misheard or misunderstood, made to feel invisible?

Recall, only the Samaritan, a member of an alien and hated people, saw the beaten and robbed Jewish man for who he truly and fully was; a person with dignity in need. This allowed the Samaritan to enter into the man’s experience and do something to help him.

Learn to “behold with tenderness”.

Pray with paintings by Johannes Vermeer. Gaze upon light. Tenderly hold in your heart a person’s private moment.

Pray with portraits by Rembrandt and learn to see humanity in its full dignity.

Gaze at the figures in the manger scene here at church or in your home.

Look deeply at your spouse, your child or grandchild, a friend caught in a private moment and see so much more.

Come to learn to see every human being with dignity. Life will be richer for you. Maybe for the first time, you will see Christ.

_{[See How To Know A Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen by David Brooks, Random House, New York, 2023.]}